JUST two months and what a whirlwind. Overall, I am doing great. Feeling pretty good. Tired, but good. I've gotten back into a routine and back to being a mom (and finally giving my mom a well deserved break). I can only lay around so much. I couldn't wake up knowing I was just going to lay in bed all day again. While I desperately needed the rest, I needed to get back to myself for some motivation. I'm definitely not too proud to admit I take naps in the afternoon once in a while. I've learned to listen to my body. I'm nothing when I'm exhausted and not feeling well. Last I wrote I wouldn't be seeing my pal, Dr. Nand, for 2 months.
Apparently, I missed him so much and needed to see him after a trip to the ER with chest pain. Of course, it couldn't happen during the day. I found myself laying in bed with some chest pains every time I took a breath. I thought it was the way I was laying (again, making a reason/excuse for symptoms). I got up and walked around the house and it continued. Now it's midnight. I was scared to go to bed. I had to wake Jason up and call mom and dad... AGAIN. Off to the ER in the wee hours of the night. One thing though... two words get you RIGHT in... no wait... just say "chest pain" and they are hopping to it. EKG, X-ray, bloodwork, etc. All good. They called it pleurisy (inflammation of the lining around the lungs) and sent me on my way. Loyola wanted to see me after that. The chemo pill I was on has a major side effect of causing fluid pockets around the heart and lungs. I went off it for a week and after seeing him he put me back on it for "one more try." A week went by and the chest pain returned. Back to Gleevec. I was highly discouraged after all this. Dr. Nand talked up this "new and improved" chemo pill to work faster and put me into a deeper remission and now I can't take it... I can only hope and pray Gleevec delivers just as good of results.
As of last Monday, my white blood cell count was just over 12,000 (normal is between 4-10,000). BIG improvement from 307,000!!! I was sooooooooooooo happy to hear that news after the discouragement of changing chemo, because in the meanwhile, my night sweats had returned after 2 weeks of waking up dry and in the same pj's!!! That hasn't happened in 5 months!! Needless to say, I am just riding the roller coaster of medicine. I'm not a fan of roller coasters though. I can get off anytime now.
Like I said, it has ONLY been two months. SOO much has happened, but I have come SOO far in this short time. Still a ways to go. And with this being "chronic", I will be living with this the rest of my life.
One of my favorite sayings: "you gotta laugh to keep from crying!" Seriously, though. I am not making light of my diagnosis. That stupid "C" word is no joke. Like everyone, I have my extreme moments of weakness and vulnerability. I'm not sure it has completely sunk in. Will it ever? I went to the eye dr last week and filling out my paperwork and having to check the "C" word now. My new life. I fought the lump in my throat and smiled at the lady as I handed it over to her.
My spleen is drastically better. Almost to the point of having no excuse anymore for a "bulging belly" - hahahaha!! See? I'm laughing. I tell you what though. My spleen went down in the books. Should have entered that sucker in the Guinness Book of World Records. It seriously impressed so many people. My primary Dr. wished her medical students were around to feel it. Resident dr's at Loyola had bug eyes. Dr. Nand (a leukemia specialist) has seen some enlarged spleens, but, NOTHING like mine. Yeah, that's right. Go big or go home. Thanking some guardian angels about that one. They can't believe the dumb thing didn't rupture. They weren't sure how I was even eating because it was crushing my stomach.
Here we are, just 11 days until Christmas. I'm going into this holiday with a whole new perspective. It's so not about the gifts under the tree. My heart is so full when I'm sitting in a room with my family, the Christmas tree blinding us with its 1,200 lights (again, go big or go home. Right, Jase??), the "Express" (as Blake has appropriately named it) going around the tracks under the tree blaring the same 2 Christmas carols over and over... and over. I've actually gotten mad at myself a couple times for it taking me to get cancer to re-look at my priorities and look at things with a new perspective. We are all guilty of that, though. It's so easy to get in a rut and just go through the motions. Heck, I've even accessorized presents with ribbons and bows. Haven't done that in years. I'd be lying if I said I poop rainbows rainbows now - I'm still very real. My two little darlings still have the ability to make me yell - haha! Toddlers are no joke. And kudos to you people who have several more than I.
I don't write this stuff for "poor me, why me". I write it because I care. If I can inspire one person to make a change, whether it's personal, professional, for their health, maybe to just stop and take it all in? Something, anything. Then I have met my goal. Life can change in a matter of seconds. It took one phone call for me.
The prayers, cards, texts, emails, letters, phone calls, meals. The continued outpouring of support. I thank you. I can never thank you enough. Wishing you and yours a VERY Merry Christmas and a Happy and HEALTHY New Year.
Love and Hugs,
Rhonda Kay
XOXO
P.S. I know I said its not about the gifts under the tree. But, one materialistic thing I am secretly obsessed with... have you seen my new fringe boots? I scored these things on a deal. They are sooo not me. So not my style. But, by golly, it's time to start living!!!! I bought these things stepping way out of my comfort zone and now I'm in love with them. I will even change out of my yoga pants into my skinnies (again, who am I?) so I can wear my fringe boots to go get a gallon of milk. ANNNND to think they come in 7 other colors. Lord, help me. Give me the strength to stay off Amazon and having the other 7 colors show up on my front porch 2 days later...
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| Very humbling walking into this place... |
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| Appealing, huh? |
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| You know you love them too!! |
